Some days.....

even breathing feels heavy

Or maybe you're in a completely different situation:

You're single, lying awake at 2 AM replaying the same heartbreak, wondering what you did wrong.

You're dating someone new, but every time they pull away slightly, your chest tightens with fear it's happening again.

You're engaged, and everyone's celebrating — but you're drowning in doubts you're too scared to voice.

You're caught in a pattern you can't break — different person, same pain, same ending.

You're alone, and the loneliness is so crushing you'd rather settle for crumbs than face another night in an empty bed.

Whatever your situation, the feeling is the same:

You didn't plan this.

But here you are — faking it in public, while dying inside in private.

The matching outfits and forced smiles in photos (if you're coupled).

The "I'm totally over it" performance you put on for friends (if you're single).

The "we're fine" you tell everyone who asks.

Meanwhile, you're going to bed angry. Waking up lonely. Going to bed alone. Going to bed next to someone who feels a thousand miles away.

Wondering when it all went wrong.

And the worst part?

You've tried to fix it.

You've "communicated." You've "given space." You've "worked on yourself." You've "given it time."

You've read the articles, watched the videos, maybe even prayed about it.

Nothing changed.

Because here's what nobody tells you:

The Advice That "Should" Work… 

Doesn't Work When You're Already Broken

"Just talk more."

But what if every conversation turns into a battlefield?

What if speaking your truth means handing them a weapon to hurt you later?

Or what if you're single, and there's no one to talk to — just you, alone with your thoughts, replaying the same painful story on an endless loop?

"Spend quality time together."

But what if being in the same room feels suffocating?

What if you'd rather be anywhere else than sit through another tense, silent dinner?

Or what if you're the one eating dinner alone, again, watching couples around you and wondering why you can't seem to get it right?

"Forgive and move on."

But how do you forgive when they haven't even acknowledged what they did?

When the same pattern keeps repeating and you're expected to just forget?

Or how do you move on when you can't stop checking their social media, when every song reminds you of them, when your body still reacts to their name?

"Just be patient."

But how much longer?

How many more nights of crying yourself to sleep?

How many more fake smiles?

How many more years of your life are you supposed to sacrifice waiting for something to change?

You've been doing everything "right."

And you're still drowning.

Here's What's Really Happening (And Why You Feel So Alone)

You're not failing at love.

You're failing at something you were never taught.

Think about it:

But nobody taught you:

They just expected you to figure it out.

And when you couldn't? 

When your relationship started crumbling?

When you kept choosing the wrong people?

When you couldn't get over what happened?

Society didn't give you grace. They gave you judgment.

If you're married or in a relationship:

Friends whisper that you're too picky, too sensitive, not trying hard enough. Family members ask invasive questions about when you'll "work it out." People act like staying together is always noble and leaving is always failure.

If you're single: 

People treat heartbreak like it has an expiration date. "It's been six months, you should be over it by now." They tell you to "just get back out there" as if your last relationship didn't shatter you. They act like you're being dramatic for not trusting easily anymore.

If you're dating: 

Everyone has opinions about your relationship. They tell you to "give it time" when you express doubts. Or they tell you to "just leave" without understanding the complexity of what you're feeling. Nobody helps you navigate the tough areas.

Whatever your situation:

You're drowning, and everyone's throwing you stones instead of life jackets.

But here's the thing nobody's saying out loud:

Every single struggling relationship—and every person stuck in painful patterns—has one thing in common.

The Brutal Truth Nobody Wants to Hear

Your situation won't fix itself.

Not with time. Not with hope. Not with another argument where you both promise to "do better." Not with another relationship you tell yourself will be different this time.

Right now, every day you delay, one of three things is happening:

1. The Gap Is Widening

If you're in a relationship:

That silence between you and your partner?

It's not neutral. It's corrosive.

Every unexpressed hurt, every swallowed word, every night you turn away from each other — it's adding cement to the wall between you.

If you're single:

That distance between who you are now and who you want to become? It's growing.

Every day you spend replaying the past instead of healing from it, every day you let fear keep you from trying again, you're reinforcing the belief that love isn't safe for you.

2. The Resentment Is Hardening

If you're in a relationship:

Remember when you used to give them the benefit of the doubt?

When you'd laugh off small annoyances?

Now everything they do irritates you.

The way they chew.

The way they breathe.

The way they exist in your space.

That's not you being petty. 

That's unresolved pain turning into contempt.

And contempt? 

That's the #1 predictor of break-ups and divorce.

Not arguing. But contempt.

If you're single or dating:

Remember when you used to believe in love? 

When you could be vulnerable without armor?

Now you're cynical. Guarded.

Quick to find flaws and reasons why it won't work.

You push people away before they can hurt you.

You sabotage good things because bad feels more familiar.

That's not you being realistic.

That's unhealed pain turning into bitterness.

And bitterness?

That's what keeps good love away when it finally shows up.

3. You're Training Yourself to Live in Pain

If you're in a relationship:

You're learning to not need them emotionally.

You're building a life that doesn't include them in meaningful ways.

You're practicing being alone while they're still there.

If you're single:

You're learning to expect disappointment.

You're building walls so high that even good people can't climb them.

You're practicing being hurt so you won't be surprised when it happens again.

And here's the scary part:

There's a point of no return.

A point where the effort to rebuild feels harder than the effort to leave.

A point where you've been hurt so many times that your heart just… closes.

A point where the patterns are so deeply grooved that you can't imagine another way.

Most people don't even realize they've crossed it until it's too late.

If they're in a relationship:

They wait. 

They hope.

They pray things will magically improve.

Then one day, one person wakes up and says, "I'm done."

And the other person is shocked. "But I didn't know it was that bad!"

It was that bad. They just weren't paying attention.

If they're single:

They wait.

They tell themselves they'll heal "eventually."

They keep dating or they stop completely, but they never actually address the wound.

Then one day, they wake up and realize years have passed.

They're still carrying the same pain.

Still repeating the same patterns.

Still alone, or worse — in another relationship that's just a different version of the last one.

What If I Told You the Solution Isn't What You Think?

You don't need another pep talk.

You don't need someone to tell you to "be patient" or "try harder" or "just move on."

You don't need another article about "10 signs of a healthy relationship" that leaves you feeling more confused than before.

You need someone to show you the map.

Because right now — you're lost in a forest, walking in circles, hoping you stumble onto the right path.

But hope isn't a strategy.

 And exhaustion isn't a plan.

What you need is someone who:

• Has been where you are
• Understands the weight you're carrying
• Won't judge you for the mess you're in
• Won't sugarcoat the truth to make you comfortable
• Will actually give you tools that work — not just theories that sound nice

Someone who'll tell you the truth — even when it stings.

Because sometimes, the truth is:

If you're in a relationship:

• You're not communicating. You're just taking turns attacking each other.
• You're not giving space. You're avoiding the real issue.
• You're not forgiving. You're hiding, and it's rotting your relationship from the inside.

If you're single or dating:

• You're not healing. You're just distracting yourself.
• You're not being selective. You're being reactive — choosing people who feel familiar, not people who are good for you.
• You're not protecting yourself with those walls. You're imprisoning yourself.

And sometimes, the truth is:

You've been fighting alone for so long, you forgot what it feels like to have someone in your corner.

Someone who sees you. Really sees you.

Someone who doesn't minimize your pain or rush your process.

Someone who says, "I know the way out. Let me show you."

Welcome to Deep Healing Counselling

This isn't therapy that makes you feel good for an hour then leaves you exactly where you started.

This is the place where things actually shift.

Where couples on the brink of divorce find their way back to each other.

Where heartbroken singles stop repeating the same painful patterns.

Where engaged couples stop pretending everything's fine and start building something real.

Where confused hearts find clarity about what they truly want and need.

We don't do surface-level fixes here.

We go deep.

We uncover the real issues — the ones you've been avoiding, the ones hiding beneath the arguments, the ones you didn't even know were there.

And then?

We give you the tools to change them.

Not next month. Not "eventually."

Right now. In your next conversation. In your next conflict. In your next choice.

Because transformation isn't about waiting for things to magically improve.

It's about learning a new way to move through the world.

My Story (And Why I'll Never Lie to You About Love)

A few months before my wedding, after he'd met my family, after we'd started planning our forever — he disappeared.

No explanation. No warning. No closure.

Just… silence.

My calls went to voicemail. My messages went unanswered.

And I was left standing there, holding a wedding dress and a shattered heart, trying to make sense of what I did wrong.

Those nights were brutal.

I replayed every conversation. 

Every moment. Every flaw I thought made me unworthy.

People whispered. Some blamed me. Some pitied me.

And I learned something about pain that I'll never forget:

The people who haven't been through it will never understand it.

They'll give you surface-level advice.

They'll tell you to "move on" as if heartbreak has an expiration date. They'll act like healing is as simple as choosing to be happy.

But you and I? 

We know better.

We know that pain doesn't work that way.

That healing doesn't happen because you wake up one day and decide to be over it.

Healing happens when you stop carrying it alone.

By God's grace, I healed. I learned. I grew.

And today?

I've been married for over 15 years.

But I didn't get here by accident.

I got here because I learned what nobody teaches you:

That love without skill is just chaos.

That passion without tools is just pain waiting to happen.

That good intentions don't save relationships — good strategies do.

My name is Hajara Thani.

I'm a certified counselor, relationship coach, and the founder of Deep Healing Counselling.

Here's What Actually Works (When Everything Else Fails)

Forget everything you've been told about "fixing your situation."

Most of it is garbage designed to make you feel hopeful without actually changing anything.

Here's what really important:

The Safe Space Method

Step 1: We Build a Space for Truth

Not the polite truth.

Not the watered-down version you tell yourself to avoid conflict.

The real truth.

The things you've been swallowing.

The resentment you've been carrying. The fears you haven't said out loud.

If you're in a relationship:

We create a space where you can finally say it — without it being used as a weapon against you.

If you're single or dating:

We create a space where you can finally admit what you're really feeling — the doubts, the fears, the patterns you're ashamed of — without judgment.

Because here's what most people get wrong:

They think healing or change is about talking more.

No.

It's about being able to speak without fear.

And right now?

You're afraid.

 Afraid of making it worse. 

Afraid of the reaction.

 Afraid of being vulnerable and getting crushed for it.

Afraid of facing what you've been avoiding.

We remove the fear. Then the truth can flow.

Step 2: We Guide the Conversation So It Doesn't Become Another Fight (or Another Spiral)

If you're in a relationship:

Ever notice how every "talk" you try to have spirals into the same argument?

That's because nobody's steering the conversation.

You're both just reacting. Defending and attacking.

Repeating the same script you've been running for months (or years).

I'm the one who interrupts that pattern.

I don't let you spiral.

 I don't let blame take over.

I don't let the conversation devolve into "who's the villain."

Instead, I guide you to actually hear each other — maybe for the first time in a long time.

If you're single:

Ever notice how every time you try to process what happened, you end up in the same mental loop?

Blaming yourself. Then blaming them.

Then wondering what's wrong with you. 

Then feeling hopeless about the future.

I'm the one who interrupts that pattern.

I don't let you spiral into shame or bitterness. I don't let you minimize what happened or take all the blame.

Instead, I help you see clearly — what was yours, what was theirs, and what you need to do differently next time.

And when you're heard? When you're truly understood?

That's when things start to shift.

Step 3: You Leave with Tools, Not Just Feelings

Most therapy makes you feel better for an hour. Then you go home and nothing's actually changed.

Not here.

You leave every session with specific, practical strategies:

For those in relationships:

• How to de-escalate when things get heated
• How to express hurt without attacking
• How to rebuild trust after betrayal
• How to know when to push and when to pause
• How to stop repeating the same destructive patterns

For singles and those dating:

• How to recognize red flags before you're in too deep
• How to break attraction to what's familiar but toxic
• How to communicate your needs without fear
• How to heal from past hurt without building walls
• How to know if someone is right for you or just comfortable

For everyone:

• How to set boundaries that actually stick
• How to stop people-pleasing your way into resentment
• How to trust your intuition again
• How to choose yourself without guilt

These aren't theoretical.

These are tools you use that night.

That week.

In your next conflict.

In your next date. 

In your next big decision.

Because real change doesn't happen in the session.

It happens in the moments when you choose to do something different.

Who This Is For (And Who It's Not For)

Let's be clear.

This isn't for everyone.

If you're looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear, I'm not your person.

If you want to be cuddled and validated without being challenged, you'll hate working with me.

If you're waiting for your partner to change while refusing to look at your own patterns, save your money.

If you're not willing to be honest with yourself about what's really happening, this won't work.

But if you're ready to do the real work?

If you're willing to face uncomfortable truths?

If you're serious about change — not just talking about it, but actually doing it?

Then you're in the right place.

This Is for You If:

✅ You're married and drowning in silence, distance, or constant conflict

Your relationship doesn't feel like a partnership anymore. It feels like a battlefield or a prison. You're tired of pretending. You want your person back.

✅ You're heartbroken and can't seem to move forward

It's been months (maybe years), and you're still replaying what happened. You're still wondering what you did wrong. You're still afraid to trust again. You're ready to finally heal.

✅ You're single and keep attracting the same toxic patterns

Different person, same pain. You're tired of choosing wrong. You're ready to break the cycle and build something healthy.

✅ You're dating and need clarity about whether this person is right for you

You have doubts but you don't know if they're red flags or just fear. You need an objective voice to help you see clearly before you go deeper.

✅ You're single and ready to find the right relationship

You're done with casual. You're done with settling. You're ready to be intentional about who you choose and how you build. You want guidance on recognizing the right person and avoiding the wrong ones.

✅ You're engaged but filled with doubt

Everyone's excited, but you're terrified. You see red flags but don't know if they're real or just cold feet. You need clarity before you walk down that aisle.

✅ You're dating and want to build something real

You're done with situationships and surface-level connections. You're ready to do this right — with intention, wisdom, and tools that actually work.

What We Offer (Because One Size Doesn't Fit All)

Marriage Coaching

For couples who refuse to let their story end in silence

You didn't come this far to give up now.

But you also can't keep doing what you've been doing.

We help you:

• Stop the endless cycle of arguing or avoiding
• Rebuild emotional and physical intimacy
• Heal from betrayal, lies, or broken trust
• Learn to fight fair instead of fighting dirty
• Reconnect as partners, not just roommates

This isn't marriage counseling where you sit and cry for an hour.

This is strategy. This is skill-building.

This is where you plan for your relationship.

The Investment (Because Real Change Has a Price)

Let's talk numbers.

Not because I want your money. But because I want you to understand something:

You're already paying a price.

If you're in a struggling relationship:

The price of sleepless nights.

Constant tension.

Feeling lonely in your own home.

Faking smiles in public. Crying in private.

If you're single and hurting:

The price of replaying the same pain.

 Staying isolated because it feels safer. 

Passing up opportunities because you're too afraid to try.

Watching time slip by while you're still stuck.

If you're dating without clarity:

The price of wasting time on the wrong people.

Ignoring red flags until it's too late.

Building something on a shaky foundation. 

Repeating patterns you swore you'd break.

That's the price of staying stuck.

So the question isn't whether you can afford to invest in healing.

The question is: can you afford not to?

First Consultation Pricing

Individuals Online (1 hour): ₦50,000 In-Person, Abuja (90 min): ₦75,000

Couples Online (90 min): ₦75,000 In-Person, Abuja (2 hours): ₦100,000

Every first consultation includes 1 week of chat support so you can apply what we uncover immediately.

Transformation Packages (For Those Serious About Change)

6-Week Intensive Weekly sessions + unlimited chat support Customized tools and strategies 

Individual: ₦240,000 | Couples: ₦360,000

12-Week Deep Healing Program Bi-weekly sessions + ongoing Comprehensive support  and action plans 

Individual: ₦400,000 | Couples: ₦600,000

Custom packages available — contact us to design the right fit.