From all the happenings around us today, you will agree with me if I say it is very important to know who you are choosing as your life partner. Some of these questions here may appear odd to you but they are essential questions. Depending on your relationship with your fiance, you may not be able to ask all of this but you should be able to ask most of these questions to help you make better decisions. Remember not to put out your questions like an investigative police officer, ask your questions at a good time and in a diplomatic way. for some, you can actually be direct, it all depends on who you have as a suitor. Best wishes from my side. Also, remember that not all of these questions may apply to you, so do what suits your situation. May God bless you with the best.
What does marriage mean to you?
Have you ever been married?
Are you presently married? This can apply in a polygamous setting.
What are your marriage expectations?
What are your life objectives? (both long-term and short-term)
Determine three goals you want to achieve in the near future.
Make a list of three long-term goals you aim to achieve.
Why did you choose me as a possible spouse?
What role does religion have in your life now?
Are you a believer in God?
What do you think an Islamic/Christian/other marriage entails?
What religious expectations do you have for your spouse?
What is your relationship like with the religious community in your neighborhood?
Do you participate in any religious activities as a volunteer?
What spiritual gifts do you have to offer your (spouse)?
What does the husband’s role entail?
What is the wife’s function?
Do you want to be a polygamist in the future?
What kind of relationship do you have with your family?
What do you expect your relationship with your spouse’s family to be like?
What kind of relationship do you think your spouse will have with your family?
Is anyone in your family now residing with you?
Do you intend to have any family members living with you in the future?
What should I do if my relationship with your family deteriorates for any reason?
What kind of pals do you have? (Make a list of at least three.)
How did you become acquainted with them?
What makes you think they’re your friends?
What do you find most appealing about them?
What will your connection with them be like once you are married?
Do you have any male/female friends?
What is the current state of your friendship with them?
What will your connection with them be like once you are married?
What kind of friendship do you want your partner to have with his or her friends?
What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
Would you enjoy entertaining our visitors in our home?
When your friends come around, what do you anticipate from your spouse?
What are your thoughts on various languages being spoken at home that I don’t understand? (in the company of friends or family)
Do you like to travel?
What do you do for fun during your vacations?
What do you think your spouse should do during his or her vacations?
Do you like to read?
What do you like to read?
Do you think you’ll be able to verbally communicate love feelings after you’ve married?
Do you believe you’ll want to show your affection in public after you’ve married?
How do you show your admiration for someone you’ve just met?
How do you express gratitude to someone who has done you a favor?
Do you prefer to express yourself through writing?
How do you apologize if you make a mistake?
How do you want someone to apologize to you if they have offended you?
How long does it take you to forgive someone?
In your life, how do you make major and less essential decisions?
Do you use vulgarity at home? Is it appropriate to do so in public? Is it with your family?
Do your buddies use offensive language?
Is there any vulgarity in your family?
What are your methods for expressing anger and frustration?
How do you anticipate your spouse expressing his or her rage?
When you’re angry, what do you do?
When do you think it’s suitable to start a marriage mediation?
How should a quarrel in your marriage, whether religious or not, be resolved?
Define the terms “mental,” “verbal,” “emotional,” and “physical.”
What would you do if you suspected yourself of being abused?
If you were being assaulted, who would you call for help?
Do you have a long-term illness or condition?
Are you willing to have a physical examination by a doctor before getting married?
How well do you understand the importance of good health and nutrition?
What methods do you use to maintain your personal health and nutrition?
What does wealth mean to you?
What are your spending habits?
What methods do you use to save money?
How do you anticipate your spending habits will alter once you’ve married?
Do you owe any money right now? If that’s the case, how are you going about paying off?
Do you make purchases with a credit card?
Do you agree that taking out loans to buy a new home is a good idea?
What financial expectations do you have from your spouse?
What is your share of the financial burden in the marriage?
Do you think a working wife is a good idea?
If that’s the case, how do you think a family with two incomes should handle money?
Do you keep track of your expenses with a budget?
Who are the persons to whom you are liable financially?
Do you think it’s a good idea to hire babysitters and/or maids?
Do you wish to start a family? Why isn’t that the case?
Are you able to bear children, to the best of your knowledge?
Do you intend to start a family during the first two years of your marriage? If not now, when will it be?
Do you think abortion is a good idea?
Do you now have children?
What is your current connection with your kids?
How well do you get along with their other parent?
What kind of relationship do you think your spouse will have with your kids and their parents?
What method(s) of child-rearing are the most effective?
What are the most effective methods for disciplining children?
What kind of upbringing did you have?
Growing up, how were you disciplined?
Do you think children should be spanked? What are the circumstances?
Do you think your children can attend public school?
Do you think your children must attend a religious school?
Do you think your children should be educated at home?
What kind of relationship should your kids have with their classmates and friends of different beliefs?
If your children’s extended relatives lived in another state or country, would you send them to see them?
What kind of relationship do you want your children to have with their entire family of grandparents?
What kind of relationship do you want to have with members of my family who may be of a different religion/race or culture from me?
WHY ASK THESE QUESTIONS?
Asking these questions and diving deeper into what it truly means to be married is a great place to start your marriage. With the kind of marriages, we see around us today, almost everyone gets a little anxious about marriage. But you don’t have to stay anxious. I encourage you to continue to openly discuss these and any other topics that may arise. Cheers to a healthy, thriving marriage!
See our self-help resources on premarital and marital guides below.
Share this article on
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on PintrestShare on Whatsapp
