Some days.....
even breathing feels heavy
YOUR HEART IS JUST BREAKING QUIETLY.
Certified Relationship and Marriage Counsellor in Abuja and Online Across Nigeria
If you're here, something inside you said
"I can't keep living like this."
Maybe you've been saying it for months.
Maybe this is the first time you've admitted it out loud.
You didn't plan to end up here...
reading these words, searching for answers, wondering if things can actually change.
You feel tired.
Stressed.
Confused.
Overwhelmed.
You’ve been holding so much inside for so long, and now you need clarity.
Maybe you're:
- One of two people who once couldn't keep your hands off each other, now scrolling phones in the same room, feeling like strangers
- Single, lying awake at 2 AM replaying the same heartbreak over and over
- Dating someone new, but your chest tightens with fear every time they pull away
- Engaged, and everyone's celebrating around you— but you're drowning in unspoken doubts
- Caught in a pattern you can't seem to break — different person, same pain
- Emotionally wounded, exhausted, and needing space to heal
Whatever your situation, you're faking it in public while dying inside in private.
And the worst part?
You've tried everything they told you to try.
You've communicated.
Given space.
Prayed.
Read every article. Watched every video.
You have done the work.
And you are still stuck in the same place.
Nothing changed.
Because here's what nobody tells you:
The Advice That "Should" Work…
Doesn't Work When You're Already Broken
"Just talk more."
But what if every conversation becomes a battlefield?
What if you're single with no one to talk to — just endless painful loops in your mind?
"Spend quality time together."
But what if being in the same room feels suffocating?
Or you're eating dinner alone, again, watching couples and wondering why you can't get it right?
"Forgive and move on."
But how do you forgive when they haven't acknowledged what they did?
How do you move on when you can't stop checking their social media?
"Just be patient."
But how much longer?
How many more nights crying yourself to sleep?
You've been doing everything "right."
And you're still drowning.
Here's Why You Feel So Alone
You're not failing at love.
You're struggling with something you were never taught.
They taught you math, history, and how to write essays.
But nobody taught you how to navigate emotional pain or matters of the heart:
They just expected you to figure it out.
The Brutal Truth Nobody Wants to Hear
Your situation won't fix itself.
Not with time.
Not with hope.
Not with another promise to "do better."
Right now, every day you delay, one of three things is happening:
1. The Gap Is Widening
That silence between you?
It's not neutral.
It's corrosive.
Every unexpressed hurt adds cement to the wall.
If you're single...
every day replaying the past instead of healing reinforces the belief that love isn't safe for you.
2. The Resentment Is Hardening
Remember when you gave them the benefit of the doubt?
Now everything irritates you.
That's unresolved pain turning into contempt — the #1 predictor of divorce.
If you're single...
That's unhealed pain turning into bitterness that keeps good love away.
3. You're Training Yourself to Live in Pain
You're learning not to need connection.
Building walls.
Practicing being hurt so you won't be surprised next time.
There's a point of no return.
Most people don't realize they've crossed it until it's too late.
What You Really Need Is Not More Advice
Not more "PEP" talk
Not more..be patient or try harder.
You need someone who:
Has been where you are
Understands the weight you're carrying
Won't judge you for the mess
Will give you tools that work — not theories that sound nice
Will tell you the truth — even when it stings.
You need someone who has been in the fire and knows the way out
My Story (And Why I'll Never Lie to You About Love)
A few months before my wedding, after he'd met my family, after we'd started planning forever...
he disappeared.
No explanation.
No warning.
No closure.
Just silence.
I was left holding a wedding dress and a shattered heart.
Those nights were brutal.
People whispered.
Some blamed me.
Some pitied me.
I learned something about pain:
The people who haven't been through it will never understand it.
By God's grace, I healed. I learned. I grew.
Today, I've been married for over 15 years.
But I didn't get here by accident.
I learned that love without skill is just chaos.
That good intentions don't save relationships — good strategies do.
My name is Hajara Thani.
I'm a certified counselor, relationship coach, and founder of Deep Healing Counselling. Based in Abuja, working with people across Nigeria and beyond.
And I've spent years helping people like you:
I've been where you are.
And I know the way out.
And I'm not going to sugarcoat it to make you comfortable.
Because comfort isn't what you need right now.
You need the truth.
And you need a plan.
Here's What Actually Works:
The Safe Space Method
Step 1: We Build a Space for Truth
Not polite truth. Real truth.
The things you've been swallowing.
The resentment. The fears.
You're afraid right now — afraid of making it worse, afraid of the reaction, afraid of being vulnerable and getting crushed.
We remove the fear.
Then truth can flow.
Step 2: We Guide the Conversation So It Doesn't Become Another Spiral
If you're in a relationship:
I interrupt the pattern where every talk becomes the same argument. I don't let blame take over. I guide you to actually hear each other.
If you're single:
I interrupt the mental loop of blame and shame. I help you see clearly — what was yours, what was theirs, and what needs to change.
Step 3: You Leave with Tools, Not Just Feelings
You leave every session with specific, practical strategies you use that night:
For those in relationships:
- How to de-escalate when things get heated
- How to express hurt without attacking
- How to rebuild trust after betrayal
- How to stop destructive patterns
For singles and those dating:
- How to recognize red flags early
- How to break attraction to toxic patterns
- How to heal without building walls
- How to know if someone is truly right for you
For everyone:
- How to set boundaries that actually stick
- How to trust your intuition again
- How to choose yourself without guilt
Because real change doesn't happen in the session.
It happens in the moments when you choose to do something different.
This Is For You If:
You're married and drowning in silence, distance, or constant conflict
You're heartbroken and can't move forward — still replaying what happened months or years later
You keep attracting toxic patterns — different person, same pain
You're dating and need clarity — you have doubts but don't know if they're red flags or fear
You're engaged but filled with doubt — you see red flags but don't know if they're real or cold feet
You're ready to find the right relationship — done with settling, ready to be intentional
This Isn't For You If:
You want to be validated without being challenged.
You're waiting for your partner to change while refusing to examine yourself.
You're not willing to face uncomfortable truths.
But if you're ready for real work and real change?
You're in the right place.
What We Offer
Marriage Coaching
For couples who refuse to let their story end in silence.
We help you stop the cycle, rebuild intimacy, heal from betrayal, and find your way back to each other through sessions in Abuja or online across Nigeria.
Learn More About Marriage Coaching
Premarital Counselling
Before you say I do, make sure you are ready and know what you are saying yes to. we give you the conversations you have not had, the clarity you need, and the tools to start your marriage on solid ground in Abuja and online.
Learn More About Premarital Counselling Here
Emotional Healing & Individual Sessions
For singles and those dating who are carrying wounds from the past. We help you heal from heartbreak, break the patterns that keep hurting you, and build the emotional foundation for the relationship you actually want, wherever you are in Nigeria or across the border.
Learn More About Emotional Healing
Digital Guides & Resources
Can't do sessions right now? Our digital guides give you practical tools you can start using today, from rekindling intimacy in your marriage to healing after heartbreak.
The Investment
You're already paying a price:
- Sleepless nights and constant tension
- Replaying the same pain
- Wasting time on wrong people
- Watching time slip by while stuck
The question isn't whether you can afford to invest in healing.
It's whether you can afford not to.
First Consultation Pricing
Individuals
Online (1 hour): ₦50,000
In-Person, Abuja (90 min): ₦75,000
Couples
Online (90 min): ₦75,000
In-Person, Abuja (2 hours): ₦100,000
Every first consultation includes 1 week of unlimited chat support so you can apply what we uncover immediately.
Every session is completely confidential, non-judgmental, and held in a safe space where you can be fully honest. What you share here stays here.
Transformation Packages (For Those Serious About Change)
6-Week Intensive Weekly sessions + unlimited chat support Customized tools and strategies
Individual: ₦240,000 | Couples: ₦360,000
12-Week Deep Healing Program Bi-weekly sessions + ongoing Comprehensive support and action plans
Individual: ₦400,000 | Couples: ₦600,000
Custom packages available
You have Read This Far for a Reason.
something in you is ready, even if another part of you is afraid.
You don't have to have it all figured out before you reach out. That's what the first session is for.
You just need to take one step.
Deep Healing Counselling is based in Abuja with in-person sessions available across the FCT, and online sessions open to anyone in Nigeria and beyond.
Whether you are in Lagos, Port Harcourt, Ibadan, or Kano, if you have an internet connection, we can work together.